Archive for » March, 2010 «

A Birthday and An Update

I am terribly sorry that I haven’t written a post in a while.  February was a very rough month for me.  My fiance, Adam, broke up with me and I moved back in with my parents.  This has caused a plethora of mental and emotional difficulties.  The good news is that Adam and I remain good friends…the break-up was not a bad one.  It just hurts like the ending of any three year relationship very close to marriage would.  Aside from grieving the relationship, I’m having quite a bit of difficulty with my family.  I haven’t lived with them since I was in high school.  My parents are very authoritarian.  Also, they never took the time to learn about schizophrenia, so they don’t know much at all about how to deal with the things I struggle with.  Of course, I try to explain, but they don’t really understand.  There is a big communication gap and I don’t know how to fix it.  I also don’t know how to prompt them to educate themselves about my mental illness.  Regardless, there is much conflict resulting from the lack of understanding.  However, they are doing there best to take the steps they can to make this transition easier.  They are planning to build me a one bedroom apartment above the garage (its separate from the house) that I could live in.  It would be friendly for all my disabilities…psychiatric and physical.  This means that the flooring would be good for my back, it would be very secure to help with paranoia, and it would have some amenities that would make it easier for my service dog to help me.  I am really hoping that they will be able to build this apartment, it would be a wonderful place that would help me immensely.

Since I have moved in with my parents, I’ve had to lose a few things…pets mainly.  I no longer have my 75 gallon aquarium, in which I had invested much time and love into.  I’m hoping that once the apartment is built, I can get a new (probably smaller) aquarium.  They are very therapeutic for me and I greatly miss it.  I’ll never be able to replace my wonderful fish, but I will be able to get new ones one day.  I am somewhat looking forwards to an aquarium that doesn’t include an eel that eats all small fish.  I enjoy tanks with several schools of fish and my 75 gallon was not able to have that.  I also had to leave behind Vex, because that was Adam’s dog.  I miss her quite a bit as well.  Newton, a Greater Vasa parrot that Adam bought, was also left behind since it was his pet as well.  I was very excited about living with a parrot who could talk again, and was large…but I can still visit her so its okay.  I am happy that Adam has found a bird that he enjoys…that does bring me joy.  Rex so far has not been able to come to my parents.  They were not sure if they were going to allow that but decided that as a birthday present, they would give me permission to bring him home.  I am so glad!  I missed him terribly!  As soon as some space is cleared out in my room and I can find a way to transport his cage, he will be coming to stay with me.  I am very happy. more…