Archive for » August, 2010 «

San Antonio: Part 1

I am currently in San Antonio, Texas visiting my birth mom, brother, sister, my birth mom’s SO (Scott), and his son and daughter.  I arrived on Sunday afternoon after driving a two-part trip that totaled 12 hours.  On that trip I stayed in a hotel on my own for the first time ever.  That trip was also the farthest I have ever driven on my own.  Normally I am pretty anxious about driving on freeways, especially large ones, because I hold onto the delusion that a gust of wind of gravity will decide to suddenly sling my car off the road, that bridges will collapse, or that 18-wheel trucks will crash into me.  However, this trip turned out to be not so bad and my delusions were minimal.

When I arrived on Sunday, I was so happy to see my mom!!  It had been since mid-June that I saw her.  I still can’t believe that I am really a part of her and my siblings’ lives or that I am here with them just being a part of the family.  However, as reality set in that I wouldn’t be returning home for 10 days and that everything I am familiar with was gone as well…my anxiety began to quickly rise.  I guess I started to have some short bouts of dissociation as my mom repeatedly had to get my attention because I had completely blocked out everything going on around me.  I was overloaded with sensory input and emotion so it took me a while to come back into reality.  After a couple hours, I began to relax a bit more.

Before dinner, my mom took Sheriff and I to a nearby dog park (McAllister) that I had researched online.  The online reviews of the park were really positive and it included some agility equipment…so I decided I wanted to go check it out and see if it seemed safe enough for Sheriff.  When we arrived, I was happy to see that only 20-30 dogs were at the park and none of them seemed aggressive or out of control.  We watched as two other dogs entered the park, observing the reactions of the other dogs to the new ones.  Greetings were very polite and owners all were attentive in observing their own dogs.  Sheriff, my mom, and I entered next and again, the dogs that did approach were very polite.  The dogs that night ranged from an English Mastiff to a puppy dachshund.  Sheriff took some time to sniff around before I instructed him to run the agility equipment with me.  He did very well even on the high jump that I think as higher than I’ve ever asked him to jump before (probably closer to what he would jump in an official competition).  After that, we walked around a path that ran the inner perimeter of the park.  Sheriff stopped to sniff everything and a black lab followed him around sniffing as well.  With every dog that approached, I closely watched all the body language and was ready to intervene, but I never had to.  All the dogs were very friendly to other dogs and to people. more…