Archive for » January, 2011 «

It’s Not Panic, It’s Grief

Monday this week I was discharged from the psychiatric hospital after six days of treatment.  My inpatient doctor literally told me that he is perplexed by how so many medicines seem to just not work for me.  Now I am on Haldol after it was determined that Loxapine didn’t work well enough. I’m still very stressed about graduating.  I go to each of my classes with a knot of anxiety in the pit of my stomach.  If only Sheriff knew how to magically calm me down and tell me that everything will work out.

People ask me if I’m okay lately and my response is usually “barely.”  I am barely okay.  Normally it is anxiety and delusions that are troubling me but tonight, it is grief. more…

Not Meant To Be Here

****Warning: Talks about suicide attempts, please do not read further if this is something that will cause you distress.  Click “more” if you wish to read this post.****


San Antonio: Part 2

Tonight is my last night in San Antonio.

I’ve had an amazing trip.  I’m really not sure if I could think of anything that would have made it better…aside from being able to stay longer.  One thing I really like about my trips to San Antonio (aside from obviously getting to see my family) is that my symptoms take a vacation as well.  I haven’t had any hallucinations and my delusions are nearly non-existent.  I think part of it is due to the change of environment…going from a high stress home to a place I feel comfortable and able to completely be myself.  Also, most days are structured to some degree that is predictable and that helps tremendously. more…